Day One

Back in the Netherlands after an extended stay in the UK and my first day has been a day of queuing. This is not a result of food shortages that have mysteriously occurred in my absence,  but simply an issue of staff deployment. Generally I do my best to avoid Albert Heijn supermarkets first thing on a Monday morning. Our nearest shop is very small, and the aisles are full of staff restocking after the weekend.  However, with an afternoon mission already planned I had no choice but tackle the chicanes and other major hazards created by warehouse crates and boxes blocking every aisle.  No queues at the check-out, mainly because there were more staff in the shop than customers.

However, the real fun began in the afternoon,  when I had to return to a second Albert Heijn (I refuse to visit the same one twice in the one day) to pick up the goods I had (a) forgotten in the morning and (b) had not been re-stocked (that’s the trouble with going too early!).  But first, I went to Action. For those of you don’t know Action think Home Bargains. It’s one of those shops that sells everything from toothpaste to bicycle pumps, the sort of place you go into expecting to buy one item, and come up with arms full of stuff. It is also one of those shops that has six check-outs, four of which are for display purposes only. Action is the home of the queue. And typically, after a lengthy wait, just as I finally reached the point where I could load my several-more-than-planned purchases onto the conveyer belt, the inevitable happened, another check-out opened, and of course, those at the back who had waited the least, scrambled to the empty till.

 

Undeterred, I stuck it out. I had invested a great deal of time in my queue, and then, exactly the same thing happened next door in the second Albert Heijn supermarket of the day, where just as I reached that point...the till roll needed to be changed.  Outwardly calm, inwardly seething.

I appreciate that these situations are not unique to the Netherlands. It could happen anywhere. But they say Europeans don't know how to queue. Trust me, they do!

During my two months back in the Uk I had become re-acclimatized with those cheeky check-out conversations with shop assistants, which simply don’t happen here, mainly because ashamedly, I don’t have any Dutch conversational skills apart from a ja, ja, nee  and a dank Ju well in answer to the standard do I have a bonus card, do I want a receipt, am I collecting saving stamps and have a good day (I am completely thrown if I’m asked anything else). Back in the UK recent exchanges with shop assistants have included a lengthy conversation on the merits of bathroom refurbishment (stemming from the admiration of my new bathmat) and another five minute talk on the commercial viability of wine for cats. Anyone who has ever given their cat catnip will know that cats do not need wine.  And dogs don’t need beer either (yes we got onto that too).

Ed looking unimpressed with another spontaneous purchase from Action!