Wednesday, 15 February 2017

Carry On Cruising

Following the success of last year’s Caribbean cruise to escape the depths of a Dutch winter, Mr T insisted that a dose of new year sunshine should become an annual tradition. I was more than happy to oblige. This year, we opted for a P&O ship, Britannia, and set out for a week’s cruise around the islands of St Lucia, Dominica, Antigua, St Maarten and Barbados.

Our cruise was only seven nights, and after a friend had warned that she knew of someone who gained two stone on a two week cruise, a week sounded quite long enough. After all, we only had a limited luggage allowance and I needed to be able to travel home in the clothes I wore out.

So is cruising all about over-indulging? Is it one long food and drink fest? Well it’s certainly very easy to be lazy.  You don’t have to get off the ship if you don’t want to, on Britannia there are at least three sundecks, four pools and ample space to lounge around.

Haunted by the thought that I wouldn’t be able to fit back into my airplane jeans, I insisted that the lifts were out of bounds for us. We were going to walk up and down the stairs (there are 17 decks), we were going to complete the seven laps of the running track that constituted a mile every morning before breakfast (we did it twice) and we were not going to grab as much food as we possibly could from all inclusive buffet. With breakfast available from 6.00 am to 11.30 am, lunch starting at 12 and continuing until 2.30 pm, afternoon tea from 3 to 5, and dinner from 6.00, there really is only a very small window of time when food is not available – and even then you can always grab a slice of pizza or a burger from the poolside grill. Even people who eat in their sleep are catered for as late night snacks from 10.00 pm until 2.00 am and then there’s round the clock room service.

Formal dining on board was pretty special. We opted out of the main dining room a couple of times, once for a pre-booked evening in the Limelight Club where the food was definitely up a notch and the entertainment was provided by soul-singer Jaki Graham, and the second for an impromptu meal in the Glasshouse restaurant just to make a change. We’d originally opted for freedom dining which meant you can eat when you like, and with whom you like, either choosing a table for two, or ‘sharing’ which is a bit like speed dating, meeting a new couple every night. Sometimes you gel, sometimes you don’t.  Fortunately it’s a big boat, and we rarely met the same people twice!

If you like everything done for you, cruising is the perfect escape. Chocolates on your pillow, entertainment morning, noon and night; a theatre, a pub, a nightclub, a casino. What more could you want? Peace and quiet? Well you can even have that if you want to escape to the Serenity Pool, or even pay extra to sunbathe away from the rabble in the exclusive  Retreat.


Mr T and I like to explore. In Dominica we took an organised trip to the Rain Forest, in Antigua we took a local taxi to the beach. St Maarten was a bit of an anomaly – the island is split into French and Dutch territory. We landed on the Dutch side and took a taxi to the French capital Marigot, our Dutch driver (fifteen years in Rotterdam) filling us in on the history and customs of the island as we battled our way through the traffic. (Traffic jams in the Caribbean? Yeh man, there were five cruise ships in port that day.)   These islands rely on tourism and retail opportunities abound. Traders are very keen for your business; you end up saying ‘no thank-you’ an awful lot, and in fact, we had two rival beach sunbed vendors almost in fisticuffs as they competed for our custom in St Maarten. But most of the time, we found the locals pretty laid back.

Back on board, we took part in a ‘James Martin’ cookery class in Britannia’s million pound demonstration kitchen. Unfortunately James wasn’t on hand himself but his substitute, a jolly Irish Dara O’Briain look-a-like chef taught us how to make the perfect pasta, and yes of course we promised that we would retrieve our pasta-making machine from its permanent resting place in the back of the cupboard and make our own pasta as soon as we got home.

The highlight of our holiday? Snorkling with turtles in Barbados most definitely. Rum punch at 9.00 am in the morning? Why not?


And yes, I could still fit into my jeans for the flight home. (Just!)




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