On Vacation Episode Five - All Our New Best Friends are Canadian

I wasn’t totally convinced I was going to like Jamaica – the warning not to make eye contact with anyone trying to sell you something doesn’t exactly fill you with any confidence. The boat docked in Ocho Rios and the main attraction here is Dunns River Falls - a 55 m high waterfall which flows into the Caribbean down a series of terraces. We just had to climb it, Mr T said, just had to. And he was right. There were times when I felt like spider-man as I hopped from rock to rock up the waterfall with my newly purchased florescent pink wet-shoes. There were other times when I was very grateful that on being told to line up boy-girl-boy-girl I had Mr T in one hand Mr 6ft Canadian in the other. Despite nearly wrenching my arm out of its socket, Mr 6ft Canadian hauled me up to the top of Dunns River Falls. I wouldn't have made it without him.

It is very touristy, and very 'contrived'. It isn't compulsory to trek up the waterfalls with a guide, but it seems the simplest, and most sensible thing to do. Did I ever think I’d be standing waist deep in water waving my arms up in the air with twenty complete strangers singing Hot Hot Hot, Wet Wet Wet? Does that honestly sound like me? No. There were a very po-faced couple in our group who were determined not to join in. They were not going to strip down to their bathers, deposit their bags in a locker, or hold hands with anyone else and follow the guide, but sometimes you just have to go with the flow (or quite literarily against it in this case). I have to say we had great fun!

Sorry no pictures from Dunns River as we didn't risk the camera, although we did buy the video (strictly for private viewing). Here are some pictures from the nearby tropical gardens instead - very similar scenery!

Jamaica done. Not somewhere I would particularly rush back to, because sadly it was true. Muttering a polite no-thank-you to any trader was the worst possible thing you could do, and you cannot get out of Dunns River Falls without passing through a rustic local market.

Fortunately, our next stop, Nassau in the Bahamas proved to be the complete contrast – totally hassle free, and it was bonus stop because originally the ship had been destined for Cococay, the cruise company’s own island. Cococay was due to provide nothing more than a day on the beach, where you could invest in a floating beach-mat, a luxury cabana or swim with dolphins. I was slightly concerned at the lack of wild dolphins in the Caribbean and came to the conclusion that most must have been rounded up for swimming with cruise-passenger's experiences.

A bad weather forecast diverted us to the safety of Nassau harbour – so rather than spend the day in an artificial resort, we got to spend it in a real one! The only downside was that on Cococay we’d have been able to use our complimentary drinks package, where as in Nassau I had to buy my own Bahama Mama cocktail - oh and of course we had to drag ourselves around a historic British fort,  take in all that stuffy old colonial architecture, oh and even worse, visit the slave museum. Yuck. its no wonder people prefer the Disneyfied  version.  Who wants all that culture? Me, me, me (in case anyone doesn’t get the sarcasm).

The Queen's Steps in Nassau - carved out of rock by slaves

I loved the Bahamas. I loved the whole cruise. Definitely something I’d do again although I’m not totally convinced about Celebrity. There was just a little too much hard sell – too many little extra’s which to be fair, our on-board allowance mostly covered. Mr T and I are not natural shoppers, or big spenders. I found it quite sad that our port guides consisted of little more than brochures for Celebrity's organised excursions and directions to the local shopping districts, rather than providing any information on the geography or heritage of the islands themselves. 

Mr T and I are not materialistic. We don't need diamonds and watches (or at least not one from every port) - we have each other.  My $10 wet shoes were definitely the buy of the cruise.